Week 3 - This is my confession

Well folks....I have news. I've been a bad, bad girl. Well not totally bad, but bad enough to have lost ZERO pounds this week. I have learned two things:

1. I need to blog at least every other day to help keep me honest.

2. Moderation is still not my strong suit.

So here is what went down in the last week. After the weight in, I continued with my good eating habits as usual. All was going well....until Friday. After having a good time gettin' my nails did with a girlfriend, we decided to go to Beer Bistro. The name alone should've sent me running (but I've been there many times and thought I could handle it). I ordered relatively healthy food - chicken salad wrap with tots as a treat, and I only ate half of my meal. But then...oh then...they had $4 Fin du Monde. I thought, "I'll just have one." And one turned into at least six with the bartender buying us two shots.  Yeah....it was a total bust. Now, had I stopped there, the weekend was still salvageable. Plus, you have to be able to come back from a slip up.

The next day, we had a BBQ with some friends. I had already been planning this event during the week and was prepared to serve pretty healthy grilled food - chicken, corn, fresh sliced tomatoes, fruit - not too bad, right! But at the store I also bought Baked Lays and a CHERRY PIE!! I have just totally lost my mind at this point. On top of all that, the whole point of our get together was to have some of our new home brew. So from 2 p.m. till 2 a.m. (cuz the night didn't stop after the grill out), I ate and drank myself into stupidity.

Now don't get me wrong. I had a blast! It was so nice to hang with friends and let loose. But, man, I really went off track with eating right. On Sunday, I had a healthy lunch but just said "eff it" at dinner and we ordered pizza.

All told, I'm lucky I didn't gain any weight. But I learned a lot about my habits, pitfalls and self-discipline. I don't regret letting loose, because some of my healthy habits still were there in the midst of Pig Out 2011. I only wish I had exercised somewhat more restraint. BUT, this whole experience is a learning process, so I am done beating myself up about it!

On Monday, I got right back on track - and it feels so good! I actually like eating healthy - I prefer it. In fact I realized one of my pitfalls is just being too tired to cook. When I am not in the mood to cook, I am more willing to make bad choices. Case in point - pizza on Sunday. But, I went grocery shopping yesterday and made myself get ready for Tuesday and wah lah! its easy! I know it's not always going to be easy, even if I have everything ready to go, but more times than not, I will succeed. As for the weekends, I think I have to hold myself more accountable and really put the breaks on after a treat instead of going into a tailspin.

All in all, I am so glad that even after being derailed a bit, I was able to find my way back with little trouble. That's a good sign that my habits are starting to feel more natural. This whole experience has forced me to look at my love/hate relationship with food. I learned this weekend that I still use food and drinks as emotional crutches in some way. Adding in better habits gives me more tools to bounce back, but I still struggle.

Today, it was so stressful at work that I had a really hard time not coming home and opening up a beer. But for me, I know that one beer could very well lead to two or more, especially when I'm drinking out of stress rather than for the simple pleasure. I don't want to want to rely on food, beer, t.v., etc. in order to get over a tough day. That is AVOIDANCE, plain and simple!!! I'm glad to say that when I got home, I did not sit my butt down in front of the TV, crack open a beer and just throw in the towel. I am still committed to becoming healthy and for the first time in a long time, I MEAN IT! I have to thank those around me too. My brother, who knows what I'm up to, definitely gave me the what for on Saturday, before the BBQ and told me, come Monday, he was gonna be on my ass to help me stay on track. Although I'm not scared of him (because honestly, he's adorable:), I think I hate disappointing people more than any else in the whole world. So, it motivates me. Most of all, I don't want to disappoint myself. Ten pounds of weight loss is nothing to sneeze it, but it is only the beginning of my journey, and I will not be satisfied until I cross that finish line.