Day Four - Beans, beans, the magical fruit

A TOTAL LIE!!! Everything I'm eating right now is a "magical fruit." I don't care if this is too much information because anyone who embarks on this journey should know - eating mass amounts of greenery and fiber will make you a gas machine. (And FYI, posting about farting is way less embarrassing to me than posting my stats) So, just be aware that eating healthy is not without its consequences, although I'd take farting over fat any day:)

Today is another milestone in my race to a smaller waist. Today marks the first weekend in a long time in which I have no beer, wine or junk food to celebrate making it through another week. Normally, a Friday night/weekend would look like this:

Leave work as fast as possible, go home, open a bottle of wine, figure out what I was doing for the evening (a.k.a go to Cobra, Beer Bistro, etc.) get in car, go to said meeting place, eat burger/pizza/fries/babies (just kiddin'), drink copious amounts of booze, go home, sleep like crap in my junk/booze induced coma, wake up, be a waste of space all day, repeat steps 3 on up. 

Now my Friday night/weekend looks like this:

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Or at least that is what I feared for a good portion of the day. To be honest with you, I was at a loss for what to do. I even called my friend and told her "I don't know what people who don't drink and who live a healthy lifestyle do on a Friday or Saturday night." You may laugh, but this is a serious question. So of course, I go to Jewel and get some food (because I shop everyday! - you don't have to, I just choose to for the variety and because I like fluorescent lighting). Nick had gone down to some friends' house, and I was anticipating being all alone, with nothing but time.

For some reason, and it has been like this my whole life, I have anxiety over not having plans during the weekend. I've always felt, unless I was sick, that I had to spend time with people or I would have a panic attack. It's gotten better as I've aged but I still get a little antsy around the weekend. Luckily, my brother was home (asleep fully clothed with his shoes on, which was adorable!). So, I started my evening routine and made dinner. My brother put on some tunes, and we ate and had a good time chatting, laughing, singing and dancing (really only I was dancing and badly, but he did the robot once or twice). I am really glad he was home and that we got to spend some time together. And, it really helped me get past another bump in the road.

So tomorrow, it's another day, but I feel less anxiety about my plans. I think I will really grow to like my booze/junk free weekends for a while. I also have to say that without the support of my husband, this would be really hard. I know there are a lot of people out there who are trying to lose weight with a spouse or household members making it tough at every turn by demanding the bad food that they like and criticizing the person who is trying to live a healthier lifestyle. I am lucky that everyone in my house is pretty committed to the healthy lifestyle.

One last thing for tonight, then it's off to rest my sleepy head. Every day I am increasingly excited over the changes coming my way. I hope that some of you out there get excited too and make any changes, big or small, you've been too afraid to make before. Believe me, once you commit, that feeling will take you a long, long way. Fear was what kept me from doing this when I should have, but I'm not afraid anymore.